Weddings are known for being the most romantic and elegant occasion of all. Everyone is dressed in his or her best, and even the food is meticulously displayed to fit the mood. Well, that’s the norm, but not everyone goes for that Martha Stewart-worthy fairytale wedding.
While most little girls play dress up in pretend bridal gowns and dream of a day filled with flowers and pretty music, some dream of something else entirely. There are apparently some women who once played pretend in a white trash bag.
Still, who are we to deprive these people of their big day? Instead, we chose to celebrate those weddings like any other. After all, such unique nuptials are too good not to share. So, sit back and enjoy these hilariously trashy wedding photos.
15. Gas station gala
A lot of planning goes into a wedding. There’s the dress, the cake, the attendants, the décor and the venue. If Hallmark movies have taught us anything, it’s that a wedding cannot happen until the venue is secured. That being said, a lot comes into play when choosing the venue that will work best for the bride and groom’s plans. So, what’s a girl to do if she wants an all-night celebration in a small town where most places close down before 8? She could set up shop at the local 7-11.
That way they can party until 11, or possibly even later, and have unlimited access to snacks. That is, if the guests don’t mind Twinkies and Cheetos. Really the only foil in this plan is if someone interrupts the dance party by needing to pump a tank of gas.
14. Taking the plunge
One common component in a wedding ceremony is the couple performing some sort of act that shows they are joining together as one. And no, we don’t mean what happens later that night on the honeymoon. It’s usually something simple like lighting a unity candle or filling a vase with different colors of sand. Such acts were just not daring enough for this one couple, who felt like they needed to do something more creative to signify that they were taking the plunge into marriage.
So, they decided to literally take a plunge into a big mud puddle. Lucky for the bride, this can also serve as a “trash the dress” activity, too. The guests might have joined in right after, since they were all dressed for the occasion. We can’t help but wonder what kind of food they had at a wedding like this. By the looks of the groom, there’s a good chance it was KFC.
13. Ready for the big day
Most weddings, even small ones, have at least one attendant. That would typically be the maid or matron of honor. Her duties include attending to the bride on her wedding day and assisting her in getting ready. That’s what this woman appears to be doing as she helps the bride with her earrings. They are finishing up the task outside, likely because the bride wanted to catch a breath of fresh air to calm her nerves. Too bad.
There’s no fresh air to be caught with a cigarette puffing in her face. At least the smoke has more room to rise outdoors, which will hopefully cut down on the effects of second-hand smoke. However, there’s a good chance that the bride smokes too. In that case, we hope that the groom doesn’t mind a Marlboro kiss to seal the deal.
12. A friend for all times
Remember how we mentioned that the maid or matron of honor is responsible for attending to the bride on her wedding day? Well, “attending” is not a term to be used loosely and can include many random tasks. That means being at her beck and call for whatever she needs, including help holding her dress while she relieves herself of more than just nervous feelings.
By the looks of this photo, these two are in a porta-potty. Or maybe they are from the wedding that took place at the 7-11. Regardless, the bridesmaid viewed the potty break as a perfect opportunity to take a smoke break as well. Even funnier is that someone had to take this picture. That means that either the photographer or a random third person followed them into the potty, or they left the door open.
11. Cutting grass makes it last
After the wedding and reception is all said and done, guests gather around in anticipation to see what way the couple will leave. A lot of couples go all out and rent a limousine or a horse and buggy for a more fairytale feel. Others leave in an antique car or simply their own everyday ride.
This couple wanted a little something more unique though, so they opted for a pair of matching riding lawn mowers. Who knows? The groom may own a lawn care business and think of this as free advertisement. It’s a good thing the guests aren’t throwing rice or anything else at them, since they can’t really make a quick getaway with their chosen form of transportation. They also chose to forego the usual wedding attire, which is probably wise for anyone leaving on a lawn mower.
10. Life’s a beach
As we can all tell by now, weddings are not limited to churches or garden areas. They can take place most anywhere, including the local 7-11. One popular venue is the beach. Even though it is laid back and more casual than most venues, it can still look elegant and romantic.
That is, if the wedding party actually wears wedding attire. This wedding, on the other hand, seems to have been thrown together with very little planning. The bride somehow found a veil, even though it was green, but she had to grab a beach towel for her train. As for the bouquet, she decided carrying some wild flowers in a beer bottle would do the trick. The guy wearing the sleeveless shirt is likely her dad walking her down the “aisle.” And it looks like the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, since neither can put down their beer long enough for a ceremony.
9. Down by the swamp
The beach is awesome, but what if a couple can’t afford a destination wedding like that? There’s still a chance to get married by a body of water, such as a lake, or in this case a swamp. Hey, whatever fits the budget. This couple also saved money by only buying wedding accessories. The groom wore his usual attire (or at least we assume it’s his usual) and bought a bowtie.
The bride sprung for a veil and a garter. She wore her own shorts and what appears to be lingerie for the top, which should make the wedding night festivities run smoothly. As an added bonus, it won’t be hard for the groom to locate the garter. Everyone was wearing green armbands too. This leads us to believe that only those 18 and over could be guests or wedding party members… probably due to the bride wearing lingerie.
8. In their element
While many people like to get married by a body of water, others prefer a more solid footing. This couple wanted a little something in between the sand and the grass, so they decided to go with mud. They were kind enough to not make their wedding party stay down in the trenches with them, and instead provided them with a platform mud trucks.
One mud truck had “Bubba” prominently written on the side, and we can probably assume that Bubba is the dude wearing overalls with nothing underneath. He appears to be the best man, or maybe even the wedding planner given the theme of this ceremony. The camo-clad officiant was also allowed to stand in a truck, which fit perfectly under the archway. Amazingly, the bride managed to mix in some pink to add a little feminine touch. Or maybe that was all Bubba’s idea.
7. Get it in writing
Wedding ceremonies are nice, but they’re not actually necessary. Many people simply go to the courthouse or a minister’s home and recite their vows. Then, they sign a marriage document, because it’s only official when it’s in writing. This couple took the writing part a little too far by spray painting their wedding attire.
The bride had the word “wifey” scripted on her derriere in case the fact that she was wearing a white formal gown and a veil didn’t give away her identity. As for the bridesmaid, she wore a dress that she can literally wear again… most likely to Walmart. The groom and groomsman also wore more casual attire that clued everyone in to their roles as well. The only thing that could make this ceremony any more amusing would be if they married under an overpass decorated with graffiti.
6. “Orange” you the one
Wow. Anyone living in the South has most likely seen or at least heard of someone having a wedding with a camouflage color scheme. This might include little touches of camo like the flowers on this bride’s gown. The groomsmen might wear camo ties or vests, and the groom’s cake might have camo icing. Yet, none of these weddings have a groom who looks like he came in fresh off of a hunt—so fresh off of a hunt that he’s still wearing a gun on his shoulder.
They even went out of their way to accent all of the camo with hunter orange, to match the groom’s hair, obviously. Nice touch, since he wouldn’t show up in the wedding pictures otherwise. Either the officiant didn’t get the memo to wear camo and orange, or he wanted to make sure that everyone could see him.
5. There’s somebody for everybody
Some people are so far out there that it’s hard to imagine anyone would want to spend forever with them. Yet, even these people somehow manage to get married, often to someone just as bizarre as them. That’s likely the case with this pair, who are lucky to have found one another. The groom clearly loves his bride, and he’s happy to give her an affectionate hug or take a rest on her boobs.
She’s equally happy to show some skin in the leggy pose that is also included in this photo shoot. Both chose to forego dress shoes, and probably spent the money saved there on something else… like beer and hot wings, maybe. The only thing that would make this wedding album any better is if it included a family portrait. Although, there’s a good chance this couple shares a set of grandparents.
One common thread of wedding receptions is the couple sharing a first dance as husband and wife. This couple had a barn reception, which is pretty common in rural areas. Most couples opt out of using rebel flags in the background, though. And most grooms don’t wear caps at the wedding, but who are we to judge?
The groom seems to be holding on tight to his new bride, or maybe he is just trying to see if he can touch his fingers. She’s helping him out by letting him balance on her feet like a little kid. Maybe she’s a cougar as well. It’s too bad we can’t see her face, but the upper arm tattoo makes for an interesting detail. As for the wedding guests, they are dressed less trashy than to be expected. Perhaps they are just tourists.
3. Here comes the ride
Here comes the ride, we mean bride, or the bride on her ride… whatever. This has to be the most interesting entrance a bride has made. Most people who need wheeled transportation would have a wheelchair, but she wanted to ride in luxury with something motorized. Just like other brides, she has a bridesmaid by her side to help with her gown.
Although the fact that she is riding makes the other woman look more like her servant than a wedding attendant. Not only did she need to sit down to catch her breath, but she also needed a cigarette to keep her going. We can only hope that she ditched it before she made it all the way to the altar. At least she already has a mode of transportation for leaving the reception.
2. Couldn’t see that one coming
Remember how we mentioned that a lot of couples choose to leave their reception in a limousine? Then there are those like Greg and Terri who prefer to ride off into the sunset on lawn mowers. Finally, there are couples like this one who want to spring for the limo but still keep their trashy wedding theme intact. That’s how this camo limo came to be.
It matches their camo attire perfectly, and is undoubtedly one of a kind. Even better, this getaway ride can easily be hidden from groomsmen or anyone else who wishes to decorate the vehicle. It’s also easy to keep the honeymoon location secret if they want, since it will be hard to tell where this ride is headed. We’re going to take a wild guess and say they’re going to spend their first night as a married couple in a tree stand.
1. A package deal
Some people marry a person who already has kids, which people would call a package deal. But the person typically has older kids and not a kid in her belly. Still, stuff happens and people get married while pregnant, although most of them stop smoking long enough to carry a child. This bride couldn’t stop smoking long enough to take a picture.
It looks like the groom brought a little something extra to the table too, and we’re not referring to his mullet. They also have a dog to round out this little family. There’s no doubt the mobile home in the background is their honeymoon suite. Perhaps the saddest part about this entire photo is that the dog is the best looking one in the family. Well, maybe there’s hope for the baby. Of course, that will all depend on if the groom is the daddy.